I was sick, spiritually & mentally
No one knows when I said I was sick what I really mean is mentally or spiritually. I'm just getting tired of myself, I feel overwhelmed. And I don’t know how to explain it to others because it’ll get worse to tell them. What I really need is time. Time to re-progress, re-planning re-thinking everything. Time to reset my life. I need a rest. Yesterday I was crying inside a mosque near my home staying. I'm just mentally tired doing all this routine. I don’t have time to think. I'm not that I used to. I don’t have time to live my life. I was a planner-junkie. I used to plan everything. And now I feel like I was losing control of myself, of my dream, of my purpose, of everything. I need to re-thinking am I doing the right thing? Is that all that I want? What my life become if I keep doing this? Does my parents allowed me to do this kind of thing? I feel like doing all the things without time to think, even just for the slightest as to why am I doing this? I do the same routines, same mistakes & the same regrets. Without time to repair the mess. I was spiritually sick. I feel disconnected. I began to question everything when my heart still believes him, but I’m just, wanting to ask. to be continued (even too tired to write what i feel) 29/11
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May 2021
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