Today, I wonder.
I've never seen him so angry, never seen him talk so loudly to me. All I do is I pretended to have other things to keep me busy. I read, read, read a lot until I forget that my dad was there. They don't know that read and watch movie is the only thing that made me forget about everything. Iftar and sahur being so hard because I had to sit beside him awkwardly. If I had the option i'd rather do not iftar and sahur. I've never seen them fighting that much. All i do was crying. The only escape is when my friend asked me for doing iftar together outside. I just dont understand that jealousy made him so stupid. So stupid. So terrible. He was crazy. My mom didnt do anything wrong. He was just too stupid. I hate him. I hate him for being talk so loud, hate him for making my mama cried; hate him for making my brother looks so scared. Hate him because he did that just because simple thing. Lucky for you, if you font have the day the internet just the only thing you have. Friends were not responding my message. I was alone. Frustated. I dont want to leave her. I dont want to go bandung. I dont understand love, Dad. Do you love us? Then what is love, Dad? Can you show me?
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May 2021
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